


Sprite Sprite and Crab Moirail

by I_Otaku



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Gen, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-29
Updated: 2016-09-12
Packaged: 2018-08-11 20:50:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7907251
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_Otaku/pseuds/I_Otaku
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Your name is ERISOLSPRITE and you DESPISE YOUR VERY EXISTENCE.</p><p>More than you ever could before, Eridan’s self loathing mixed with the down swing of Sollux’s duality, your hate itself could burn a hole trough the mere existence of paradox space. But, you don’t let it. It’s not that you try not to, more so you just don’t care enough. That would require so much energy, energy you don’t have and a degree of caring you are unable to have. You firmly believe you just love suffering. </p><p>Maybe somebody can fix you. Maybe his name is Karkat Vantas.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SweatersAndScarves](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SweatersAndScarves/gifts).



You thank the Sollux part of yourself for the love of suffering. It’s hard, with him sometimes it’s more like you have three parts and honestly at the moment Eridan is doing that prodding and snarking about it that gets your right set of horns sparking. The ocean brine smell mixing with the ozone that happens when you have your emotionally charged and mangled psionic try and materialize is making you nauseous, and god why can’t you just explode like Tavros and Vriska did. It’s bad enough the one other sprite you heard about was Tavros and Vriska—and their explosion—what about all the other heads Gamzee had in the fridge? Is there some Nepeta and Equius sprite floating around being the happiest damn thing this side of Skaia? That’d be great for their moirallegiance… What about Feferi? Fuck- whatever you have for a bloodpumper swells and falls at the same time just thinking about her.

Maybe it wouldn’t be too bad if Jake would shut his gogdamn mouth once in a while when you’re trying to sulk and self—and not self (I mean how does this whole existence thing even work? It’s such fuckin’ bullshit)—loathe in peace.

You’re drug out from your enjoyed dark corner of LoMaX and back to English’s side. You wish that Roxy human had never mentioned the pendants, then you could fuck off and never have to come back. Instead the little nookworm is dropping the necklace back in his short shorts pocket and he grins up at you with that bucktooth shit eating grin. Before he can even spit out the first word, you cut him off.

“Before you get thiis shiitshoww on the road consider the followwiing; II DON’T GIIVE A FUCK.” Your arm swings down at him, and he just nods his little squishy head. Honestly, that was some of the most emotion you’ve ever shown the little fucko and he still just talks to himself through you.

“Come on now ol’ buddy ol’ chap! You’re my guardian, my guide!” He looks essentially past you.

“Wwhatevver you say you perenniial shiit staiin.” Your hands find the end of your lemon and lime scarf, and give a brief tug. 

“I do believe I’ve been having some trouble with my relationships, and who else would be better to help me and guide me into wise choices?” His voice catches and drags ‘guide’ and you have to pull off your glasses to rub your eyes. 

“Seriiously Engliish?” You grumble, not even caring how bad you lisp mangles the sentence. “Iit’s not my fuckiin’ job to be some kiinda moiiraiil to you, Ii’m a fuckiin’ disaster myself. Iit’s a gogdamn miiracle iivve liivved thiis long iif you can call what ii’m doiing LIIVVIIN.” Your voice raises on the last word, distinct memories blazing across your thinkpan that get you idly rubbing just below your digestion sac and then just above it.

“Erisolsprite, do try and understand that I’m a young adventurer, my relationships and emotions shouldn’t be keeping me down from the right jolly path of skullduggery!" 

"Holy fuckiin shiit howw do wwords evven come outta your mouth because your thiinkpan clearly diidnt make that sentence iitself, iit would choke on the wwords and diie." You slide your glasses back on, crossing your arms as English seems to have more notifications popping up on his palmhusk. Hopefully he'll get back on that for a few hours and leave you alone. 

He starts talking though, once again just narrating his problems like you give a shit. With all the grace you can manage, you flip the kid the double bird and disappearify your sweet ass elsewhere. When he starts going off there's not stopping him, like you could really care though. You're feeling too offkilter and angry to really do much of anything right now. You float, courtesy of your swishy green tail, and just enjoy the view on LoMaX, before taking off towards the sky. You've always liked the atmosphere, and you've never really known why. 

Sollux hated the outdoors, and Eridan was too concerned with other things to find solace in the outside world. You, well you're different. You're their atrocity. Even though you're young, and a rather unpleasant sight, you find a peace with the stars and swirling planets of space. You rarely bicker or argue, and for those few moments you don't feel like two halves, morphed into an incomplete hole. You feel original. 

But this time, it's quickly ruined. 

More ozone and a massive headache spring forward, and your glasses come off and your scarf gets tied around your head and fuck, this isn't a headache it's a full fledged migraine. You curse, and and accidentally zap your spritely body. You float towards the nearest dream bubble, praying to whoever may listen to give you somewhere dark and quiet where you can nurse this shit until you can handle light. You aren't so lucky, pulling the small opening of your scarf closed, the blinding light of wherever you are being most definitely unwelcome. It's hot too, and when everything slows down for a minute you reopen your newly donned headwear. The landscape is bare, empty rolling desert of orange sands and deep blue sky. 

You can't help but somewhat appreciate the warmth, a fishy part of you enjoys soaking up the rays. Your one fin flutters as your scarf is returned to it's accessory status, the heat actually helping you calm down a little bit. 

"Fuck." You spit, requipping your glasses and giving your head a good press between your palms for good measure. 

"What the hell-?" A voice rings out, silencing the two inside you. 

You fight between calling out and staying silent, and turn. Yeah, it's him. Karkat is standing a few feet in front of you, sickles in his hands and brows furrowed as he looks over your body. "Sollux? Eridan?" He speaks again, and for some reason you can't rightly respond. 

"Yes, and no." You murmur, scratching idly at your one proper ear. 

"Did Gamzee turn you two into a sprite?" He asks, stepping forward as the sickles disappear into his dex. 

"Yeah." Why can't you talk right? Why is your internal dialogue suddenly silent? 

As if one cue your incomplete halves answer. Karkat is a friend. Karkat was there, a shoulder to cry on, a dotting friend, an understanding protector, an almost moirail. And honestly, it frightens you. You agree, both of your halves agree on this, that Karkat is someone to be trusted, someone to hold tightly and never let go of. 

"Are you okay?" He asks, hand reaching slowly towards you. You nod in response, extending an arm for him to press his hand against. He's warm, and his rougher skin feels soothing. 

"Yeah.” You lie through your teeth, can you really bring yourself to tell him how much of a fuck up you’ve become? The Eridan part of you is screaming out, tell him, wrap your arms around him and cry, let yourself get lost in feeling appreciated. The Sollux part has him in a headlock, lisping yells about not being even more of a pitiable piece of garbage. He shouldn’t have to worry about you, he’s still got pupils, he’s still alive. In the end, your psionics just act up again and you zap your head, grimacing and grumbling through your warbled lisp.

“Fucking hell, can I hazard a guess that you’re lying through your confection hole?” Karkat says, his hand jumping back when you zap but moving back quickly after. 

You nod sheepishly, and you can’t help but look away when Karkat tries to make eye contact. You do look pitiable, probably the biggest fuck up in paradox space, a giant piece of garbage with a douchebag scarf and too many reasons to try and explode but here you are. 

“It’s masochistic.” You rumble towards him, and your eyes squeeze shut because oh great now your own emotions are getting in the way, not Sollux’s or Eridan’s, now there really is three sides and why are you letting this bother you, you’re never supposed to care about anything, fuck you’re crying. Is it the pain or the emotions, shitting hell if anyone asks it’s the pain. Definitely this migraine. You’re falling to hell all over again, this time it’s really too much, maybe you can finally disappear, and

oh

oh my

Your glasses are taken off and Karkat has one side of your face in his hand, while the other is gently rubbing away your tears. When you realize, it only makes you more unstable, your whole body buzzing and your tail appropriately glitching, until his hand traces down the line of your nose. Karkat is papping you, tiny hands relaxing your screwed shut eyelids and sending calm waves of understanding through your confused and angry form. You relax, feeling the confused nausea and headache slowly mute. Karkat. Karkat fucking Vantas is papping you. You. The unholy amalgamation of his two old friends.

“Shh… Calm down… Shoosh…” He murmurs, until your face calms at which point he gently tugs your face to face his. “Look at me you nookstain.” Your weird green eyes meet his, and you can see the briefest line of fear trace his brow, before his eyes soften. “You know when you have the eyes of the two biggest idiots on Alternia it’s hard not to pity you.”

“KK, you can’t even see my pupiils,” Oh, the Sollux came out more. 

“Wow, you actually decided between the two incredibly annoying nicknames I’ve been begrudgingly assigned?” Karkat chuckles through his nose, and you smile weakly. “And I don’t need to. Looking at you, I just see two six sweep old wigglers, scared and angry and afraid and bitter.” His hands let go of your face, and honestly how is this happening? He’s supposed to be gruff and fearless and rough around the edges and now he’s looking up at you, frantically blinking back tears. “I thought I lost you two for good,” He replies, like he can actually hear you. “I honestly care way too fucking much for my own good about both of you.”

“What about me?” You ask, the words jutting out before you even think about it. Does it even make sense, you, the semi-third consciousness? The collision of the two trolls?

“I guess it’s a bit weird, but it’s definitely not the weirdest thing I’ve ever seen." His voice wobbles a little, he's lying but you pretend not to notice. "What should I call you, I have a pretty long list of insults but-” 

“A mess.” You garble, before opening your arms. For once, Sollux and Eridan agree, the simple and languid motions from you making you smile. Karkat just looks at you and smiles, a gentle and soft expression that squeezes whatever you have for a bloodpumper. In just a few seconds you're in Karkat's arms, and it feels so right you never want to let go. The second you let go you go back to the bickering and zapping and migraines. But here; now, in this moment, you're held and calm and happy. 

It isn't until you really relax do you let go, floating back to appropriate acquaintance distance. "Thank you Kar," Oh now there's Eridan. 

"Make up your fucking mind, One of those damn names is embarrassing enough." He chides, embarrassed and covering it by acting angry and crossing his arms. 

You're about to call him KarKar to see his reaction when you feel English using the pendant again. You fight, Karkat handing back your glasses as you snarl and fight to stay in the bubble. 

"Karkat, Ii’m getting called back," You say, looking back up at him and letting your eyebrows droop. You don't want to go, and he doesn't want you gone either. 

“Don’t get yourself killed,” He says, smiling through his worry.

“Tell that to yourself Vantas.” You smile back. “I have to tell you though-“ You lurch forward and swear because English is a little twat who you’re going throttle when you see him.

“Hey fuckwad,” Karkat says, pulling your attention back up to him by your shoulders. “Pale for you too.” He says, quickly giving you a tight hug, before letting you go. “Go give a hearty ‘Fuck you’ to English for me.” He grins, and you can’t help but smile back.

“Wwiill do.” You say, before letting go. Karkat disappears, as do the rolling sands and blazing blue sky. You’re back on LoMaX just like that, with Jake’s pendant on the grass and the fuckwad climbing over one of the nearby hills. 

“Fuck you!!” You cup your hands and yell at him, for him to laugh in reply. 

“Come along old sport, we’re going to map all of LoMaX! Bring the necklace!”

“You’re lucky Ii’m too happy ta’ bother arguiing.” You grumble, but with a tiny smile sitting on your face. 

At least now you have the pendant, you think you’ll visit a certain little angry crab soon, now that English can’t call you back.


	2. Chapter 2

And on this specific situation, you're VERY happy. You have the damn thing tucked nicely into the folds of your scarf, and Jake has appropriately enough fucked off to somebody else's planet, which means it's time to go find your diamond again. Or at least, you like to call him that, shit he'd probably asphyxiate you with your own waste chute if you ever called him that face to face. 

It would be cute to see him get all flustered though. 

He didn't look too happy the last time you saw him. Where did that thought come from? Oh well, now it's here and it's not going anywhere. You wonder if he's been getting enough sleep. Probably not, knowing him. You let yourself float on up closer to space, and the thoughts just keep stacking up. Has he been eating? Has the idiot been taking care of himself? Where did all these questions come from? 

The Sollux part of you wants to fuck off into space and just take a nap, but the Eridan part wants to keep thinking. Your eyes droop, and the idea of seeing Karkat again nestles warmly in your mind. He's your Karkat. Well, not exactly, he's still his own person and you can't tell him what to do, gog knows you'd lose a few limbs if you tried to. But the knowledge that even in your fucked up mess of an existence Karkat still cared enough to keep your from exploding… It-… Ah shit, neither of your parts were very good at expressing emotions.

You awkwardly adjust your glasses as your eyes reopen. Can’t exactly go sleeping and drifting randomly through space. Your fin waggles, as a dream bubble floats into view. You float over, faint excitement bubbling in your digestion sac. Last time you talked to Karkat you even managed to drop the lisp and the wobble a few times. He made you feel whole, and selfishly, you want to feel like that again. 

 

It isn’t the welcome warmth of wherever the last bubble was however, this time you’re greeted with the cold metallic walls and floor of the meteor. The happiness you felt turns cold and sour in your chest, and you wrap a green hand around the end of your scarf. Bad memories. Bad things happened here. You don’t want to be here. But that doesn’t stop you from floating out of the computer room. The worn and well used chairs are drastically outnumbered by the practically new ones, and that twists the feeling of guilt and took much for you to focus on finding Karkat. He’s gotta be here, if it was only your dream, the bubble would have warped the hell out of this place. Instead, you still faintly travel the hallway and twisting turns to where you think you remember Karkat’s respiteblock being. Karkat has always been such a powerful dreamer as the knight of Prospit, and at the moment it seems he wants to be left alone. One left turn takes you back to the exact same intersection, an endless loop of getting absolutely nowhere, even though you’re trying to find the dense fool. Your digestion sac knots, and you chew your lip with the mangled mess of Sollux and seadweller dentistry.

With a worried ‘tsk’ that barely even comes out as speech, you stay in the middle of the intersection. You’re about to give up and just fly as fast as possible in one direction in an attempt to break the matrix, when you stop. A brief memory flashes in your think pan, a line from a romantic novel Karkat gushed about to Eridan sweeps and sweeps ago. How you can even remember it, is beyond you. “Truth had gone, truth had gone, truth had gone. And all that was left, was us.” You murmur, slow and precise to make sure the words were articulated and not lisped or wobbled. The Sollux part of you picks it apart immediately, the truth is what is right, and to go away is something that left. 

With a newfound determination, your spritely hand touches the right wall, and follows. Then the left. Then the right. Then the left. You do it again, and the cold unyielding steel finally manages to change. Not by much, but just enough to tell you you were right. If you weren’t worried sick of currently being asphyxiated by just being in the meteor again, you would be happy that you knew Karkat well enough to break through his defenses.

 

When you finally reach the door, the same grey and unwelcoming steel as every other surface, your hand rests just on the surface. What’s happened to him? Why has he locked himself away? Does he even want to see anyone?

Does he want to see you?

Your brows furrow and your lips purse in an uncharacteristically aching and sad way, and you just wait. Maybe he’ll come out. maybe he’ll actually be fine.

And then you hear the breaking gasp, followed by a deep guttural sob. 

Fuck. 

Against your better judgement, you slide the door open; expecting a pair or grey, verging scarlet eyes to lock your own, and Karkat to yell at you about some ‘nook chaffing privacy,’ not to see Karkat curled in a messy pile of blankets and bike horns. His body is shaking, and he’s crying, loud and unbothered. He’s never been that open about his emotions, and seeing this both verges you on tears and frightens you to your very core.

He’s crying with everything he has, because he knows no one is around to listen.

A part of you understands. No one to tell him to man up, or belittle him for being weak. And then your core wretches. No. Nobody to listen, or tell him everything is going to be okay. Nobody to tell him that his emotions need to be expressed, or that he’s been holding on to them for too long.

 

You feel the tears well up and begin to drip from your own eyes, and without even pausing for breath you’re kneeling beside the pile, glasses off and hands rolling the boy to face you. His whole face is flushed red, eyes red, tears pale red, tiny scratches along his cheeks and jaw, red. It hurts you even more, how broken and hurt Karkat looks. The ache he feels must be even worse. 

Karkat never liked red, it shows his weakness, his mutation, and now his whole body is burning with crimson. 

“thhh, Karkat thhh,” It doesn’t even matter how badly your lisp fucks up the sentence. He needs you. “Thhhh,” your scarf comes off, pendant falling off to clang on the floor, not that either of you care. “Karkat breathe, jutht breathe…” He calms down slightly in your grasp, hiccuping breaths slowly being replaced by long and slow ones. You wipe the tears and mucus off of his face, quiet purrs to try and make the boy calm down. 

With a little fight, his arms finally unlatch from his chest and you wrap them around your middle. Yours go over his shoulders, and his face buries itself in the crook of your neck.

He quiets, and the shaking nearly stops. He still doesn’t talk, but your quiet rumble and chitters help him relax into your hug. 

"Karkat? You okay?" You ask, as stupid as it is. 

"No... B-But thank you..." He murmurs into you. He's burning warm, faintly shaking in your hold and squeezing your pump biscuit. You purr again, and he gives a weak purr in return. "Thank you..."

"Iit'th not a problem Karkat, Ii'm tho pale for you." One of your hands holds the back of his head, while the other traces gentle diamonds against his back. 

“Pale for you too Erisol-“ His word catches on your name, and just like that you’re being pushed away. The force sends you reeling briefly, before your confused—and still wet—eyes meet Karkat’s. “Erisol, Erisol, Erisol, Erisol…” He just goes back to murmuring your name, again and again and he goes back to the crying mess just like that.

He alternates between staring you down and hiding his head in his arms. "Leave me alone! Eridan! Sollux! Leave me alone!"

"What?" You breathe. Karkat is usually never like this, right now he's a house of cards one breeze from being knocked over. 

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry... but I hate you! But I can't! but-" He seems to have gotten off at port nonsene instead of the sensible marina. You move closer again, and Karkat just looks up at you. "You left me- you ran off to go float in the dreambubbles, leaving us on that three year ride into the new session." You feel a twinge of regret. "You wanted to go and surrender yourself to Jack Noir! First you wanted to kill us all off, and then suddenly we need to live?! The only way being fucking groveling at the enemies feet and being led straight into catastrophy!?" A different but equally painful blossom spreads though you. "I wanted to take care of you morons gogdammit, and you abandoned me!" He sits up, shakily, with his claws ripping the blanket beneath him to shreds. "Eridan, Sollux, you left me! You left me, and I hate you for it!!"

"Ii diidn't leavve you alone!" You yell back. You didn’t. Sollux and Eridan did. Karkat goes on like nothing happened. 

"A-and, Jegus, I had to see you both- to watch you-" Now it's that phantom pain that has you rubbing idly just below your digestion sac and just below it. "I saw you die. I saw Kanaya cut through you Eridan, I saw you work yourself until your body gave out Sollux, and you kept going a-and..." Karkat's voice is hoarse now, so much more than usual. It sounds like it hurts to breathe, but he's still yelling at you. 

"I didn't- I couldn't- you died, alright!? You DIED! And It's not fucking FAIR that you've done this to me. Both of you!”

"Both of uth?! Ath fuckiing thelfithh ath you’re being, You honethtly can't tell that wwe're thufferiing enough?!" Your voice raises in return, even if you don't want it to. You're losing it again. No you, only them. Eridan and Sollux. You're just a ticking timebomb. “You need to fuck uth up evven more?!”

“I’m not saying that! I’m saying you fucked up my emotions you asshole! I’m saying I didn’t want to see you go, or see you die- I wanted you two to be happy! I wanted to be happy!” His eyes squeeze shut. “And I didn’t realize how badly I’ve been blaming myself, and hating you and feeling responsible a-and it’s a fucking mess because of the shitty decisions you made…” Karkat’s voice trails off and he chokes on a sob.

There's a buzzing glitch in your body, fin puffing out and tail seizing for a moment before you speak. "You think I wwanted ta see evveryone die?! To wwatch us get picked off!? Grovveling was gonna be our only choice!" There's a loud buzz and lightning tracks of pain down your chest, and suddenly you're changed. "Iit wath the only way to move the thiip! Ii had to!! To save all you aththholes! Ii couldn't watch everyone die! I wath already hearing your voiceth!!" Another buzz, and your body jerks. You're doing it, finally, you're just going to explode and end it all and

You don't. 

Because Karkat is sobbing again. Karkat is hating himself even more, because you exploded at him. You fought him. He was opening up, and you invalidated his feelings because you were being a piece of shit and couldn't control yourself. 

And just like that, it clicks. You're you again, you're Erisolsprite. You look up at Karkat, hair flopping down onto your forehead while you're still hunched in on yourself. Karkat's hands are at his arms, claws digging into the fabric of his sweater, and the face he's making hurts you more than anything he could say. He's afraid. The hateful, betrayed, sickened kind of fear that shoots you straight through your pump biscuit. If you had Ahab’s crosshair you would probably fillet the barrel for christ’s sake.

“Karkat-“ Your voice is quiet now, gentle and slow as you look at Karkat. He probably doesn’t mean to interrupt you, but his next cry catches in his throat wrong, and he’s coughing and hiccuping and you can hear the pain in his voice. He can’t breathe, fighting and shaking and even if he’s going to push you away again, You shoot over to straighten his back and nestle him against your shirt. He lets you, and after a few seconds and back pats he’s back to just crying, and he’s still holding onto you.

“Karkat I’m so sorry…” You murmur, holding him tightly and burying your nose in his soft and partially greasy hair. “Karkat I’m so sorry, please, I’m so sorry. I didn’t meant blow up like that,” How can Karkat talk with a sore throat? You feel like the words are sandpaper as they leave your mouth. 

Karkat doesn’t respond, but he tenses briefly. He’s crying quieter now, and your hands are pressed flat against his back, to keep him flush against your chest. “And I’m sorry for everything. For leaving. For hurting you. For invalidating you.” One hand finds his hair, the other making slow tracks up and down his spine. "You deserve so much more Karkat." 

He whimpers something, and shakes again. "Yes you do moron. You deserve to be happy. You really do." it isn't until you give him another squeeze do you realize that he actually has lost weight. 

You want to reprimand him, tell him to take care of himself. But you can't. You want to apologize and berate yourself and just apologize for being a huge piece of shit and say that you hate yourself. But you can't. 

Karkat needs you. You can hold on, you can stay together long enough to do this for him. Neither Sollux nor Eridan are speaking. No fighting, no nothing. Right now, all you can think about is Karkat. 

He stirs slightly, trying to sit up from your grasp. You grumble, and wrap your tail around his waist. “Fuck no.” You nuzzle against his hair more, and he growls. “I thaid fuck no Kar.” You breathe, wiggling against him slightly.

“You’re like a giant wiggling hissbeast.” Karkat whines, wiping his eyes one final time on the scarf draped over your left shoulder. 

You let go of Karkat just far enough to meet eyes with him, and you wiggle your forked tongue at him. “You know it.” He smiles, his eyes are still sad but his grin is real. He nods weakly, and nuzzles down against your chest again. You hold him, carefully leaning and moving to lay on your sides on the pile. “Hey,”

“What the fuck do you want? I was about to fall asleep.” Karkat grumbles, no real anger in his voice. 

“I’m so fucking pale for you. I promise, I’ll make everything up to you.” Your hand snakes into his hair one more time, and lightly thumbs the blunt horn there. He makes a reaffirming noise, and nods a little. You’re speaking before you can even think. “The truth has gone, the truth has gone, the truth has gone.”

“All that’s left,” Karkat replies, prying out of your grasp to meet your eyes. He looks happy. There are gentle creases around his eyes, and his eyes themselves are drooped dreamily. “Is us.” He whispers, closing the distance between you, pressing a gentle kiss to your lips. It’s a bit too long to be the chaste kind, but the way his eyes flutter shut and pulls away with an audible sigh, it does strange things to your pump biscuit as you curl around him like it never happened. 

His dreamself doesn’t disappear when he wakes up wherever he is now. And you stay, holding and protecting and cradling your Karkat. He stays, And so do you.


End file.
